I realized recently that I have 3 personalities. There’s the 6 AM ’til 9 PM personality: the “real” me. Then there’s the 9 PM ’til 11:00 PM personality: the tired, starting to get grouchy me. And then there’s the Mr. Hyde that comes out on those occasions when I wake up, unable to fall back asleep, around 2 AM. Those insomniac moments are rare (thankfully), but during those times I often become completely overtaken by worry. It seems that every possible worst-case-scenario, every single awful outcome, every conceivable danger, every burdensome responsibility, and every remote fear all start playing chase in my mind. I get myself into a tizzy of worry. I allow anxiety to dominate my mind.
The last time this happened, instead of turning to the Lord in prayer (duh!), I watched an idiotic informercial called “Turbo Jam” until it bored me back to sleep.
But thanks to the Lord’s perfect timing, the very next morning we discussed worry in our adult group at church. And I realized that I had a problem that needed to be taken seriously. I realized that the opposite of worry is not relaxation; the opposite of worry is trust.
God prompted me to jump back into a spiritual growth practice I haven’t done for awhile: writing out passages of Scripture. Several passages about worry and about the reasons I have to trust in God came to mind. And I’ve spent time over the past few weeks writing them out. It’s a practice of chewing on the words, rolling them around, meditating on them. It’s a first step toward memorization. And it was a way for God to speak tangibly to me — to see his words and his truths directly before my eyes.
I haven’t had a Mr. Hyde moment since. I’m sure it will happen again sometime, but hopefully I’ll turn to Scripture rather than Turbo Jam next time…
How has God used Scripture to calm your heart or to speak to you? How has trust in God helped you overcome worry? I’d love to hear your thoughts.